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Monday, June 21, 2010

Frustration ... and a choice ...

Believe it or not, sometimes I get frustrated.  Sometimes I don't understand why God has me where He has me (not "HERE" where I am at [our church] but 'where He has me' at this point in my life).  I cannot see beyond the bend in the road.  I know where I need to go ... but sometimes I grow weary along the way.  Nevertheless, I keep pressing on.  Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT get upset with God!  I am just real with Him ... He knows my thoughts anyway, so I figure I might as well tell Him all about what's on my mind and in my heart instead of trying to hide from it... or hide it from Him.  I'd say that I talk to the Lord the most throughout the day; more than anyone else.  Probably more than all others combined.

Yesterday, David's message was about contentment (two different kinds).  It helped me see that one of my struggles is with contentment - Lord help me.  I meditated on these things all day yesterday, and even right through the evening meeting.  Deep in thought, I probably made a few people wonder if I was all right (sorry Wilbur).  I am all right!!  God is so good.  I'm just thinking, that's all.

We got home (the meeting was at Wilburs' house), all got ready for bed, and then I decided to sit outside and think some more.  Turns out, David was downstairs when I walked out of our bedroom, so I talked to him a while and shared with him my struggles with frustration and contentment (in a specific area ... I don't struggle in all areas!!  just one in particular).  David has a way with wrapping things up into a simple, small little phrase or sentence and it suits my personality so well.  I love him for this.  He said,

You don't have to walk this path; it's your choice.
And that's all I needed to hear.  Praise the Lord.  He also told me to read the bottom of my email.  Yes, he's so right ... there it is where I see it several times a day; I guess I just got used to it.  Here's what it says:

Some choose their road and accept its destination,
others choose their destination and accept the road.

I still went outside and sat there for an hour or so ... fell asleep off and on ... but mostly just thanked the Lord for His hand in my life, repented of my bad attitude, and prayed for strength to endure and wisdom.  I always knew and know that He has the best in mind for me, even if I cannot see how what is going on RIGHT NOW fits into where He wants me to be.  Just like my struggles a while ago with separating from my adulterous relationship - that was very hard and I really did not want to go through it.  I knew where I needed to be and I knew where I was, but I certainly did NOT want to go through all of it; I just wanted to 'magically' [don't like that word] be where I needed to be without all the bumps, struggles, etc. along the way.  But you know, that's where all the growing comes in ... getting from one point to the next.  So many lessons to learn and ways to grow. 

Praise the Lord for the path I have chosen.  Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace.

3 comments:

  1. Thank you sister. Lord help us. I've struggled a lot lately too. It is true we don't have to walk this path it is our choice. God bless you. Let's choose it and let the Lord direct the path!

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  2. Yes, amen ... end let us encourage and exhort one another daily.

    Lord bless you and your family.

    Love to all, js

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  3. Hi sister Joanne!!

    God knows that I need to hear about this!!!

    It is a blessing to have sisters that encourage and exhort!!

    Praying for you , as I know you are doing for me !
    Angy

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