Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women ... to love their children …

This is the third and final post for today ... so if you have not visited my blog today, you will want to also read the two posts before this one.

There are so many different ways we can show love to our children – one of the biggest ways I believe is through proper child training and discipline. A great mistake I see in raising children is inconsistency; this happens in a few different ways. One would be that the parents simply are not following through every time they should. Parents will actually reason or argue with their children to try to get them to do what is right. I'll give a simple example. Let's say your younger child leaves a toy out. You've told them already (probably several times) that they must put the toy away when they are done with it. You tell them again, “Son, please put the toy away. You know mommy wants you to pick up the toys when you are done with them.” (this would be reasoning with them … but stop and think … how many times have you already done this with them in the past? Do they really need to be told again?) I've seen many children then get an attitude about it or just do a half-hearted job about picking the toy up. You see it written all over their faces. REBELLION. This child needs some discipline and so does the parent. If you have already told them (probably several times) what you expect, DO NOT GIVE THEM ANOTHER WARNING or try to reason with them! Just discipline them right away. What kind of discipline? A good spanking maybe? Or you could take the toy away for a set amount of time? Or … something I have done when mine were younger and this worked real well with my daughter … I'd come in her room and start picking things up off the floor and throwing them away. I didn't care what it was. She already knew she was to keep her room clean, so she was just being lazy and rebellious. I told her “well, I figure if it's on the floor, it's trash, so that's how I'm going to treat it.” This only happened a few times before she was trained properly to put her stuff away.

Empty threats. I've come upon this scene literally hundreds of times and it goes something like this: “If you don't stop doing that, I'm going to ______ [spank you, take away your candy, send you to bed early, whatever]. I'll give you to the count of three. ONNNEEEE, TWWWOOOO, stop doing that! You know mommy does not want you to do that. ONNEEE, TTWWOOO, mommy is very upset! ...” and it just goes on and on. If the number 'three' is actually said, the consequence is still not followed through with. Parents, if this is you, please stop and consider what you are doing to your child. This is very confusing. They KNOW you are flinging out an empty threat. They will take advantage of it every chance they can. And sometimes … once in a great while … you might actually follow through with a threat. But then the very next time they get away with it again.

Set your limits and STICK TO THEM. Be stable, steady, consistent. Be Christ-like.

Another form of inconsistency (and maybe this is less thought of?) would be that the mother and father are not on the 'same page' with what they think is right in regards to discipline and training, and each do things their own way. Often times the child will know how to use this to his advantage. He knows that if he asks dad if he can do ______ dad will say 'No'. But if he asks mom, she'll say 'Yes'. Or, dad will expect mom to discipline in a certain way but mom does not think that is right so she will not respect her husband's authority and instead will choose to do things her own way. This is SO WRONG. What kind of example are you setting for your children? Woman, the husband is the head of the home. If you cannot come to an agreement on how the children should be raised, you are to submit to his will. Arguing, complaining, or going behind his back and doing your own thing anyway will only cause strife and division. Worse yet, you are setting a pattern of rebellion for your children to follow. Love your husband. Love your children. Be in your place.

A few more things I'd like to share.

We had some little helpers for several hours today; I think they are ages 5 and 8 and they are both girls. We spent the whole time in the kitchen. First Brianna worked with them making pancakes while I made bread. We have a small kitchen so it was fun to work around each other. The girls helped me when they could too. I was blessed to listen and watch as Brianna worked with the girls. She is so patient and encouraging. I was thinking about how our pancakes always turn out about the same size, shape and we know that if we use the new griddle it will make 8 pancakes and the old one will make 6. Not so with the little girls :) Their pancakes were all different sizes and shapes, and some were falling off the griddle and going places they should not be going. But, who cares?! They did a great job. It's been a LONG TIME since we've had little helpers in the kitchen like that; it brought back so many memories.

Mothers, cherish these times with your young children … before you know it, they will be 16 and helping other little children. It might take longer and things might not turn out as 'perfect' as YOU want them to be, but really … with eternity in mind … does it really matter? So often we are tempted to do things ourselves because we want them done 'just so' and we do not want to take the time to train our children properly. This is selfish and unloving. Take the time right now. Your children are worth it.

And one more point. Children are capable of SO MUCH MORE than most people give them credit for. These little girls know how to work. They LOVE to help. Right after we did the pancakes and ate, they helped Brianna clean up and then got right to work on the large tote box of pears. They each had a job … and they were an asset to our production line. That big box of pears was taken care of in a few hours and we had a nice time talking in the mean time. What a blessing to work WITH the younger children. You know, if I had a television and a vcr, I could have just put in a video and let them be baby-sat by the tv while I did the pears myself. NO, NO, NO!!!! Throw that thing away!!! Children love to help … and they love it when they are actually NEEDED … when they are actually a contributing member of the family. Teach them the importance of this now. Don't foster selfishness and laziness.

OK, that's all the time I have for right now.