You can change world!

The first part of this post I actually wrote a YEAR ago. For some reason it stayed in "draft" status and I never posted it. This morning I got on here to post something and saw this in the draft box; quite fitting to what I wanted to say! So, here is what I wrote a year ago:

You can change the world! Or at least your little corner of it! How? Well ... recently I saw this quote, though I'm not sure who first said it. It went something like this:

You can change the world by your example, not by your opinion.

We are all so full of opinions - or at least I know I am! Talk is cheap, and actions speak so much louder than words. What do my actions say about me? What do your actions say about you? 

The older I get the more and more I realize how this life really is a vapor. Dust in the wind. Our time here on this earth is so short - are we making the most of it? 

A few weeks ago I had the unfortunate opportunity to speak with the meanest receptionist I've ever encountered. She was mean with her first words - long before I even had a chance to speak. It took so much effort and energy for me to keep my words, tone of voice, and thoughts toward her good while in the heat of the moment. Two things happened after our "conversation" ended. 

1. I burst out in sobs like a child that just had their mother die [or something like that]. Just being honest here - yes, I was THAT shook up!! 

2. I prayed for her. The example she put forth was so poor I could not help but wonder what kind of personal struggles she must be facing right now. Maybe SHE was the "child that just lost her mother"?! Maybe something was wrong with one of her children? I don't know. There are a million "maybes" I could think of, but whatever the case, she must have been hurting.

Before we can change the world by our good example, we must first have a good heart and a good attitude. We must reflect the heart of our Messiah.

~~~~~

And now the rest of the story. :)
Recently I've been thinking a lot about purpose. We all have a purpose, but some times the noise of life gets in the way. Distractions. Diversions. Doubts. Fears. Or even happy things! What is my purpose RIGHT NOW? What should I be busy doing? What is your purpose RIGHT NOW? What should you be busy doing?

We all have one thing in common: we all know we should be 'brightening the corner where we are', just like I shared above. Once our hearts are in the right place, we can begin to see what is important. We might be thinking we "should be" doing this or that, but should we? Usually this happens when we start comparing ourselves with others and trying to walk as they are walking. We are each unique and our walks should reflect that uniqueness.

A fellow Sister might have time to go to the nursing home or visit an elderly neighbor regularly. That's her walk and her season. We should not feel pressured to do what she is doing - what should I / YOU be doing? Maybe your season is staying home, taking care of the children and supporting your husband? If so, do not feel bad if you cannot make it to the nursing home regularly! Do you get what I'm saying? YOU be the best you can be right where you are! Make your home a haven of peace and rest for all who enter.

I find it helpful to write a reminder of my purpose in my bullet journal. It might seem a little silly to some, but it helps me to keep my focus on the right place when my mind begins to drift.

Last week David preached about CHOICES; it all begins with a choice. That one, simple, seemingly small choice can set you down the wrong path ... OR of course help you along the right path. He also talked about choosing to be happy. Our attitude in daily life has a great impact on ourselves and others. When we are reflecting our Messiah, we are instruments of his love, mercy, kindness, compassion, and so on. It's hard to make the wrong choice when we are in that state of mind!

Like I said above (a year ago), life really is a vapor. We are here today and (potentially) gone tomorrow. Are we truly living our days to the glory of the Father? Are we honestly putting God and others first in our lives? Are we looking at our lives and honestly considering what we SHOULD be doing ... and DOING IT?

My Son.

Today, while I was reflecting on the anniversary of the death of my only full blood sibling (my brother Danny, born June 12th 1975, died June 7 1999), I remembered what someone very close to me said when they heard about the death of their child. "I'm being punished for getting an abortion with my first child." While I cannot say I agree with that statement (God is merciful and forgiving if we would but turn to him!), I can say that it was obvious this woman was greatly grieved over the loss of both of her children. I mean, if the abortion didn't bother her conscience, that would not have been her reasoning for her other child's death.

But this post is about my first-born child, Tylor. I was 16 years old and thought, "Something just doesn't seem right. Maybe I'm pregnant?" I talked with a friend and asked if she would take me to get a pregnancy test (I did not have a vehicle). She said she'd be glad to.

I told her, "Planned Parenthood is right up the road; we can just go there."
She said quite passionately, "I REFUSE to take you there!"
Of course my natural response was, "Why?"
"Because they push abortions!"
"What's an abortion?" Yes. That was me. I was 16 years old and didn't know what an abortion was. I LOVED human growth and development class. I could tell you all about growing babies, both inside and outside of the womb. I faintly remembered hearing the word in school, but what it was all about never really stuck in my mind ... probably because the truth and reality of it all was glossed over.

She went on to explain what an abortion was, AND share her personal story. Are you ready for this? Here it goes. SHE was the result of an "abortion gone wrong." When her mother was pregnant with her, she had an abortion. They threw her in the garbage. But something did not "work" right. After all was said and done and everyone had left, a nurse was cleaning things up and noticed the baby did not die. I am not 100% clear of the details, but the nurse took her out of the trash, I assume she cleaned her up, and then some how took her to an orphanage. Whatever the case, she was later adopted and grew up to be a beautiful young woman. I have long ago lost touch with her, but her story will stay with me for the rest of my life.

She took me to a crisis pregnancy center, I had the test, it was positive. They piled me up with a bunch of literature, and I went home to face my dad. Naturally, he was quite upset. He gave me three choices, and I quote: "Get an abortion, give him up for adoption, or get out of my house." Needless to say, I chose option number 3 (and needless to say, the first time he held Tylor he said, "I cannot see how I ever asked you to give him up.")

Today a thought occurred to me that never has come before.

My friend was an angel sent straight from God.

What if I had asked someone else to take me? Or what if I had walked? What if I went to Planned Parenthood and never had abortion properly explained to me?

My son is a miracle. A true gift from God. Thank you Lord.

We've had our ups and downs with this young man, but I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING. He is a true blessing and I am eternally thankful that the Lord trusted me with his little soul. For all that knew Tylor when he was younger, I'm sure you have many, many stories!!! I cannot help but tell ONE story because it explains him quite well. He was 5 when my brother died. We were all sad beyond words. I was in a daze for weeks. Months. Years. Anyway, we were all sad, standing there at the grave site. Tylor starts stomping on the ground (he was standing on the fake green grass carpet thing). He says quite loudly and animated (in his own way), "I'm stepping on something hard. I think it's a head!" Yeah. That's Tylor. We were all thankful for the laugh.

New Family Photo

Been quiet on this blog. So much going on and not really interested in posting here right now. I'll get to it sooner or later though.

It's been about a year since the last family photo so I thought I'd post another.

Brianna, Corban, Me and Tylor

White Picket Fence

For some reason I was thinking about the fictional, oft romanticized image of the white picket fence today. Why is this such a peaceful thing? All I see is hard work and money. Not only do they cost a lot, but you have to maintain them. If it's wood, you'll have to occasionally scrape and repaint (more money). Repairs will be needed as time goes by. If it's synthetic, you'll have to wash it ... especially if you live in a climate prone to growing moss and/or mold. The north side is the worse by far. I guess this could happen with wood too.

No thanks.