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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Are you a 'daughter of Sarah'?

I know I've posted about this book before: "Daughters of Sarah" by Genevieve White but I've just finished reading through it again and wanted to share a few more quotes.

"You do not praise God and thank him for what you can get, just as you do not submit to your husband to get him to change. That is manipulation."

"Women are looking to pastors and spiritual leaders for counsel and advice when they should be looking to their husbands. Godly women are standing in prayer lines praying for their husbands who don't want them in church in the first place."

"God will not give a wife direction for the family. He gives it to the husband, the head." Preceding this she tells a few stories of women (including herself) who just KNEW they were hearing from God yet their husbands had heard something different. In her case, she submitted to her husband and several months later she saw the good fruit that came from it and noticed the bad that would have came had she kept pressing her idea, insisting it was what God wanted for their family. Prior to her submission though her husband said to her, "How come when we are both asking God for an answer, He is telling you one thing and me another! This doesn't make sense!" In the other story the woman kept persisting and followed through with what she thought God wanted for their family, totally against her husband's wishes. Her family fell apart and she was left alone.

"Children need to know that God designated fathers as the head of the home. I believe they do know it instinctively. They will respect his position if they see that their mother respects his position. If they see their mother obey their father and submit to him authority, they will be obedient children. If a child sees a constant tug of war over issues in the family and sees Mother winning out, disrespect for Dad's authority will result. If Mother is setting the rules for the family, disrespect between father and child will be created. If Mother allows a child to do things Dad doesn't permit behind his back (such as, watching certain T.V. shows, eating certain kinds of food, going certain places, etc.,) she is contributing to that child's lack of respect for his or her father."

"In submission, if you are obeying your husband, you are obeying the Lord. If children obey their mother, they're obeying the Lord and their father. You can teach them this."

"Don't feel that you have to make up for what your husband fails to do. This is more deception, another trick of the enemy to bring dissension between husband and wife. You are responsible for your role as a wife and mother before God. There is no way you can make up for what you husband neglects to do. If you keep your eyes on  his failures, you will end up criticizing and complaining."

"It's interesting to note that there are no specific instructions given to mothers in the scriptures, but wives are consistently told to adapt and subject themselves."

"This [Titus 2:3-5] is the ministry God has set forth for women. For all women, to one degree or another. Women, generally go to each other to share their difficulties and problems and to get advice. Unfortunately though, a lot of the advice is dangerous. Even though it might be loving and sympathetic, it is still dangerous. The reason it is dangerous is because it is against God’s Word. It appeals to the flesh, and strokes and comforts in the moment, but does not solve the root problem.
We women cannot give out advice that contradicts God’s Word. For example: advising a woman to disobey her husband. I recently had a heartbroken wife referred to me. She had been married 33 years with 5 grown children. Four years ago, her husband moved out West, after she had left him because of a drinking problem. He called her and begged and begged and begged her to join him and resume their life together. He told her if she wouldn’t he would divorce her. She told me she prayed and her "spiritual" friends prayed and they advised her she was better off the way she was. She felt the Lord was also telling her not to go. And so she didn't." (she went on to explain how her husband ended up divorcing her and she began to question the choices she had made, wishing to reconcile. She was devastated and alone.) "Her Christian friends didn't help her. They gave her advice against the word of God."

In one part she talks of how one can have selfish sorrow - which is not true repentance. "Sorrow because of your own personal failure is a destructive morbid force full of condemnation, that can pull you into blackness and despair." "If you are truly sorry that you have offended God in the way you have conducted yourself in your marriage you only need to ask and receive his forgiveness and begin to walk in the knowledge you have."

"Do not draw your own blueprint as to how God should restore. Just let him do it his way. Concentrate on what he tells you to do exclusively." I appreciate this thought a lot! It reminds me of what I've heard several times: Just be. So often us women are tempted to imagine how we want things to be or, as Genevieve said, we draw up a blueprint of how it will all go in our future. This is deception and clearly going against God's will. We are to simply just be right where God has us - be as godly as we know how to be in the situation he puts us in and let him figure out our future. If we try to force it one way or another it will only end up in disaster.

There is a bit of "Q&A" at the end. One question is as follows: "My husband refuses to tithe. What should I do?" Her response: "Nothing." Now I believe it could have just ended right there :) but she did go on to say a few more things, like: "Too many women are giving money to churches, pastors and ministries against the will of their husbands. They somehow think they are fulfilling God’s Word about giving, but in reality they are in disobedience to their husbands and therefore in disobedience to God. "Obedience is better than sacrifice."

Another: "My husband is not saved and wants nothing to do with anything Christian. Do I have to obey him?" Answer: "I've searched for years and never found a verse that even came close to releasing a wife from obedience because her husband rejects Christianity. On the other hand 1 Peter 3:1 mentions submitting to the husband who "does not obey the Word of God."

Another: "What do I do if my husband refuses to assume the leadership role?" Answer: "What can you do? The bible has a very strong message for husbands. It is true that many husbands refuse to take the lead, but that does not require wives to take over that position. Your husband is responsible before God to live out the role God has outlined in his word for him as head of the family. You are not. You will not have to answer for how your husband lived his role. You will have to answer for how you lived yours. If you try to fill in the gap for an irresponsible husband, you are creating a monster that you will have to live with. If he sees you busy doing all the things he's neglected to do, chances are he'll just watch you do it. You are  creating a vicious circle when you step over the line into a position of leadership."

"Are you saying I should never make a suggestion?"
A: "No! Not at all .... The perfect time to make a suggestion is when you're asked."


4 comments:

Edward Martin Family said...

I really appreciated this. Maybe I should get the book myself?!
Rachel

Laura said...

this was a blessing to read. i came to the lord after i was married, and my husband did... not. i struggle with my defiant spirit with this, and i am going to look for this book.

Joanne said...

Rachel - YES! We all appreciate this book very much. It's actually the only book about submission that I feel comfortable handing out to other women. Even though the focus is mainly on married women, I find that it all applies to me too and it has been a real encouragement.

Laura - The book really is a blessing ... but we must have the right heart and mindset to receive it and put it in to practice. I pray you are able to overcome your struggles; feel free to check back here and let me know how you are doing if you think of it.

God bless you both!!

Vicki said...

Great post, this is absolutely the best book on wifely submission. I purchased it after reading about it here or on Joanna's blog before she closed it, it's a real blessing.

Please read it Laura, I also came to The Lord after marriage and my husband didn't , however after some years of living 1 Peter 3, really acting on everything the Bible said about my role and living what I read in the Bible my husband also came to the Lord - Praise God!